Stop Comparing Your English with Others
It’s common to see non-native speakers compare their English skills with others in the workplace.
In this guide, I’m going to show you why comparisons can damage your confidence speaking English. Additionally, I’ll explain how you can overcome the comparison trap.
Understanding how to deal with comparisons is crucial if you want to feel confident and free to express your ideas in front of others.
Most find this challenging for two main reasons: First, it’s human nature to compare ourselves with others. Second, it’s easy to fall into this trap if you haven’t achieved your desired levels of English yet.
Constant comparisons can make you feel inadequate about your own English skills. Furthermore, feeling like you don’t measure up can cause stress and nervousness in professional situations such as participating in meetings.
Self-awareness is the first step towards overcoming the negative effects of comparing your English abilities with others.
So today, I want to share four mental strategies to help you overcome the comparison trap so that you feel secure speaking English in front of others and are ready to handle any English-speaking-related opportunities that arise.
Here are the four strategies:
Strategy 1: Increase Self-Awareness and Embrace Your Feelings
Strategy 2: Anticipate Comparison Triggers
Strategy 3: Compete Against Yourself
Strategy 4: Avoid Feeling Superior to Less Proficient English Speakers
Here’s a detailed look at each one of these mental strategies.
Strategy 1: Increase Self-Awareness and Embrace Your Feelings
Self-improvement begins with self-awareness. Identify whom you are comparing yourself with and recognize how these comparisons make you feel.
Comparisons often lower self-esteem, cause frustration and can lead to anxiety. If you experience these emotions, be honest with yourself. Don’t deny your feelings. Embrace them. Only then can you address and overcome them.
Strategy 2: Anticipate Comparison Triggers
Second, anticipate when these instinctive feelings of comparison are likely to occur next.
Anticipation is a positive form of defense because you’re essentially preparing yourself for potential challenges.
When do you find yourself comparing most? During meetings, presentations, or casual conversations?
Before entering these scenarios, be aware that you might encounter triggers that prompt comparisons.
Strategy 3: Compete Against Yourself
Peak performers don’t compete with others; they compete with themselves.
Competing with others limits you, whereas competing with yourself makes you limitless.
Adopting this mindset pushes you into new territories and keeps your comfort zone as your enemy. Competing with yourself means confronting internal obstacles and focusing on continuous self-improvement, leaving no room for comparisons with others.
Strategy 4: Avoid Feeling Superior to Less Proficient English Speakers
Lastly, comparing yourself with someone who speaks English less proficiently can temporarily boost your confidence, making you feel more capable and accomplished. However, this type of comparison can be damaging in several ways.
Subconsciously, you might begin to pity the person, creating a sense of superiority that is neither healthy nor productive. Moreover, when the situation is reversed and you find yourself with less English proficiency than others, you may naturally assume that they pity you.
This perception can significantly undermine your self-esteem, making you feel less competent. Ultimately, such comparisons reinforce a damaging cycle of superiority and inferiority, which hampers genuine personal and professional growth.
Conclusion
In conclusion, working on your mindset and inner game will manifest in outer success.
It’s easy to get caught up in the comparison trap, especially when others showcase their fluency. However, it’s a trap you can consciously avoid and rise above.
Now that you understand how to overcome the comparison trap, start by strengthening your self-awareness.
Take Action
A simple action to enhance self-awareness is to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
Take a few minutes each day to write down or mentally review situations where you felt strong emotions or acted in a certain way. Ask yourself why you felt that way or why you responded as you did. This practice helps you become more conscious of your inner processes and patterns, leading to greater self-awareness over time.
