How to Speak English Politely By ‘Softening’ Your Language

/ Steven Hobson / Business English

In this guide, you’ll learn how to speak English politely during professional interactions by using an effective approach called ‘softening’. 

Knowing how to sound polite in English is crucial because it helps demonstrate professionalism, shows cultural awareness, and facilitates better collaboration with colleagues.

However, speaking politely in English can be challenging for non-natives due to several reasons. 

The biggest challenge I’ve seen is related to culture because understanding what is considered polite in one culture may not be the same in another. 

As an example of this, some of my students have found the cultural factor particularly tough especially when communicating with British people.

This is because in their culture they tend to be more direct. Whereas, being direct in British culture can seem impolite, harsh or even aggressive. So they have to adjust their speaking tone along with their word choice and sentence structure to adapt to the British culture.

Mastering politeness in English involves deepening cultural awareness and expanding vocabulary to include a range of polite phrases.

So today, I want to share how ‘softening’ your language can help you speak English politely and respectfully when you need to make requests, disagree or be straightforward with someone. Furthermore, I give you seven simple strategies to master softening.

Let’s dive in.

What is ‘Softening’ Your Language?

Softening your language is essential in maintaining a polite and professional tone, especially in sensitive situations

It involves using a more considerate and less confrontational approach, avoiding direct blame or judgment. Instead of focusing on criticism, this approach is more neutral. For instance, expressing ‘I’m not sure I agree’ is a more respectful alternative to ‘No, that’s a terrible idea.”

Here your goal is to address issues or give feedback in a way that is less likely to offend while having a productive dialogue.

Let’s explore the seven strategies and examples for softening your language:

1. Frame Feedback as Suggestions

Present your feedback as a suggestion to make it feel less confrontational.

Instead of: “The project is not meeting expectations.”

Say: “Have you considered some adjustments to ensure the project meets our expectations?”

2. Express Empathy

Acknowledge the other person’s perspective or effort before delivering your feedback.

Instead of: “You did this wrong.”

Say: “I see how you approached this but let’s explore a few alternative methods that might work better.”

3. Use Indirect Language

Employ indirect language to soften the impact of your statements.

Instead of: “This is not acceptable.”

Say: “I wonder if there might be a different approach that could be more effective.”

4. Ask for Feedback or Opinions

Invite others to share their thoughts or perspectives to create a collaborative environment.

Instead of: “I disagree with your approach.”

Say: “Could we discuss this approach further to see if there might be other options?”

5. Be Specific 

Offer specific examples and constructive suggestions rather than general criticisms.

Instead of: “The design isn’t good.”

Say: “The design could benefit from incorporating more visual elements to enhance clarity. For example, adding charts might help.”

6.  Use Polite Requests

Frame your requests or feedback as polite queries to encourage cooperation.

Instead of: “I need a report on my desk.”

Say: “Could you please provide the report by the end of the day?”

7. Acknowledge Effort and Positives

Recognize the effort or positive aspects before delivering constructive criticism.

Instead of: “This isn’t what we need.”

Say: “I appreciate the effort you’ve put into this. To better meet our needs, could we focus on [specific aspect]?”

Conclusion

In summary, mastering polite English is crucial for professional success. By applying the concept of ‘softening’ and using strategies such as framing feedback as suggestions, expressing empathy, employing indirect language, and making polite requests, you can ensure that your communication is both professional and polite.